Every year I make the same resolution ‘I want to loose weight’. It’s such a simple resolution that should be easily accomplished, but in reality it doesn’t require a lot of follow through. I think the problem with New Year Resolutions is that there is very little about being specific about what you want. For example ‘I want to loose weight’, Okay how would you accomplish this goal, my answer “join a gym”. Okay so I am a 245 lbs women who wants to walk in a gym and loose weight sounds simple right. NO, every year I decide I am going to the gym and I walk in and feel overwhelmed and see all these people who belong. I go for a couple of weeks every time feeling overwhelmed thinking how horrible I look and feeling bad about myself more and more everyday. This is not the fault of the people who go to the gym, or work for the gym they are always super helpful and encouraging. My feeling stem from myself, my doubt, my hate, my disgust in myself.
This year I have decided to make myself a goal that will improve my own self worth. I want to love who I am at 245lbs or 160lbs at whatever weight I will be. I want to have the courage to be who I want to be in every way I don’t want to settle. I want to start by waking up each day and not thinking “gosh I should have done this yesterday so I can to this today”, I want to think “gosh today is a new day lets start with a smile”. I honestly don’t know how to move these thoughts from my brain to my heart but I have very little self worth. I know this about myself and I want to improve.
2016 was not a very good year for me I had a lot of heart ache and a lot of growth.
2017 I want to become the person that I will love. I can not love others as much as I would like if I don’t start to respect myself each and everyday. I can loose weight, I can clean my house, I can go to school, and I can even clear my skin but this will all have to start from the beginning. My beginning starts today January 1, 2017 I will start to improving the inside, to be a happy me in all my glory, even the days I don’t what to adult.
Categories: Family, Fitness, Writing
Tags: family, fitness, writing